Are Dating Apps Worth It?
In today’s age you can meet new people with just a swipe. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble & Hinge have grown insanely popular over the last decade, and even more so since 2020. Meeting new people can be a good thing, but these apps could be taking more control over our lives than we’d like them to.
I’m 23 years old and I was about 18 or 19 when I started using dating apps. Ever since then it’s been a constant battle trying to stay away from them. I would make an account, swipe, match w someone, text until we meet up (sometimes the same day) and you know the rest.
Every “relationship” I’ve ever had from dating apps never lasted long. It was always a fling, and I never took the person I was meeting with seriously. I was getting into this toxic cycle of meeting a stranger, hooking up, moving on quickly, deleting the app, then re-downloading it after a while, starting the cycle all over again.
Each time I would hear this voice inside me.
This is clearly wrong. It would say.
I pushed that voice aside every time and ignored it’s subtle yet clear warning.
Why do I keep doing this?
I would ask myself every time I left from another hookup.
Every time I ignored that voice and did as I pleased, I always end up feeling guilty and worse than before. That voice was right, every single time. I know that pre-marital sex is a sin, and I still do it. Why? Why can’t I control myself? I try to stop, but I just burn with desire. Maybe if I just hooked up with one person at a time? Maybe getting married would solve this? Maybe it’s God’s fault for making me this way?
1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."
Without a doubt, Lust is truly a sin. It destroys us from the inside. It causes us to doubt ourselves and then to doubt everything we believe in. It’s harder to overcome, but not impossible.
Have I overcome Lust? I haven’t, sadly. I’m still running around in the dark where I think no one can see me, doing things that I always end up regretting. Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I stop? What’s wrong with me?
We may think nobody is watching, but God sees everything. He knows your intentions, your desires and your schemes.
At this point you might ask “So why doesn’t God just take lust away from us?”
Trust me I’ve begged God to remove the desire from me, but it doesn’t work that way.
Sexual desire and lust are two different things. You can be attracted to the opposite sex, but when you are lusting after people and burning with an uncontrollable desire, you are living in sin.
I’ve been guilty of this my entire life. Again and again I’ve sat there in the tiny room face-to-face with a priest, confessing my lustful deeds. Again and again I’ve asked God to forgive me, and right after “repenting” I would pick up my phone and text someone I know I shouldn’t be texting.
Sexual desire is supposed to be natural. When a man and a woman come together in a proper marriage, they’re tying a not. After they say their “I do’s” they solidify their marriage with their bodies by coming together in bed. By doing this, the man and woman are saying “I am yours, I lay down myself & my life for you.” They are saying it with their hearts and with their bodies.
Eventually they have children, that’s the main reason why humans have sex in the first place. We’re naturally hard-wired to reproduce. Someone programmed it into our DNA. God made us in His image, and now we make more of us. It’s truly beautiful when it’s done the right way. It’s like a fire, it can bring warmth and comfort into to a home. But we also know that fire is destructive if you play with it.
A fire inside a fireplace, or on a regulated stove is a good thing. It’s regulated, tamed, and inside appropriate parameters. But when you play with fire outside of the right parameters, you lose that ring of protection and are now literally playing with fire. You might think you’re a genius and won’t get burned, but fire has its way of consuming more than you wanted it to.
(Also, isn’t it funny how the Tinder logo is literally a flame. It’s no coincidence)
You can see where I’m getting at. When you’re having sexual relationships outside of the proper parameters, you end up getting burned. You could end up having an unplanned pregnancy or catching an STD. Maybe it led you down a path you never expected to walk. Not to mention the fact that when you have sexual relations with someone, you’re tying a spiritual not with that person. Sometimes these soul ties can be hard to undo.
I guarantee that if everybody did marriage and sex properly, we would have almost no divorces, no orphans, no abortions, no single parent households, less suicides, and less criminals. Which would ultimately lead to a major drop in crime & mass shootings, and a rise in productivity and morale of our entire community. Marriage truly is more important than we think. It’s the backbone of a healthy family.
So you have to ask yourself, what’s the purpose of dating apps? If you’re just trying to hook up, what’s the point in that? Hooking up never adds anything worth while to your life, and 90% of the time leads to regret. Good things come to those who wait, and that’s a true saying.
I, personally, would much rather have something long-lasting and consistent. And every time I hooked up, I traded that for something less valuable, less sustainable, and more shameful. It always felt wrong even just holding them. That’s because deep down I want a real relationship and a marriage.
A real relationship takes time, energy, commitment, and patience. A lustful partnership can’t compare to a 40 year marriage. One is a dirty, flimsy, cold shack. The other is a sturdy, warm, beautiful home. Which would you rather live in during the storms of life?
Anything worth while is never obtained overnight. You have to learn to delay your gratification. As you grow wiser, you learn to realize that instant pleasure is never worth it. It always leaves you more empty, more sad than you were before, and it always makes you want more and more. And more will never be enough.
I want to again add that Lust is something I struggle with to this very day. I’m not going to give up though. I choose to stand and declare that that’s not who I am. I am called to have self-control & discipline.
I really hope you learned something from this.
This has been WOAHDANIEL. Have a blessed day.